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Sunday, November 12, 2017
The control freak. The angry man. The lazy guy. The unteachable guy. The promiscuous man. The unbeliever. The lone ranger. The unchurched guy. The new convert. The commitment-phobe.
For any woman who has struggled with failed relationships, this may seem like a familiar list. These are the men your friends and family have in mind when they think, "she's with the wrong guy." And while the reasons women choose these types of men are complicated and varied, ultimately, they will all let you down.
In She's Got the Wrong Guy, Deepak Reju offers a different kind of dating book, discussing the types of guys women should not marry and offering biblical reasons why they aren't suitable spouses. Writing from his years of experience as a pastor and counselor, Reju shares with women his perspective on how to assess a relationship's strengths from the beginning, how to identify possible pitfalls, and how to have the courage to wait for a relationship that will be a blessing for both of you. Using stories that single women can relate to and highlighting contemporary issues in the modern world of dating, Reju gives readers clear, biblical direction on how to have positive, life-giving relationships with members of the opposite sex.
With a strong, Christ-centered focus, women will better understand why they "settle" for less than what God intends for their romantic relationships and learn to put their hopes and find their happiness in Jesus, not marriage.
Deepak Reju, MDiv, PhD, serves as the pastor of biblical counseling and families at Capitol Hill Baptist Church (CHBC) in Washington, DC, as well as president for the board of directors of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. He is the author of several books and articles, including "Great Kings of the Bible: How Jesus Is Greater than Saul, David and Solomon," "The Pastor and Counseling," and "On Guard: Preventing and Responding to Child Abuse at Church." Deepak and his wife Sarah have been married since 2001 and have five children.
I am so happy that I am married and don’t have to deal with all the stress of dating. When I was dating, I would meet guys from church or through friends. In fact my husband and I met through friends. At first we didn’t like each other at all. I thought he was very quiet and worked a lot. He thought I was rude and outspoken. We began our marriage with a lot of baggage from our past and left our a very important part in our marriage. We forgot to include God in our marriage and had difficult times in our marriage because of it.
It is not uncommon to hear that a couple met online and are now dating. It can be a bit unsettling when you meet for the first time. You can be anyone you want to online, but in person your personality comes out. I have often wondered why a single woman at church is looked at differently. Some women like the idea of being single and are content to have a career and spend time with God. Others like the idea of marriage and sometimes it is hard to find the right person.
The world has become so obsessed with looks that it puts a lot of pressure on people. Men want a wife who is beautiful and thin. Women are looking for a good looking man who is a provider. With all these criteria, it looks like God has been left out. I loved how the book gave great examples of why women are settling instead of waiting for the right man who puts God first. Are women feeling pressured to marry? Do they think it defines them as more successful in life if they are married? When you settle, problems arise and your happiness is left behind and God is not first anymore in your life.
The bottom line I got from the book is to trust God, and know that He wants the best for you. Remember to put Him first and follow his direction. I think the book is a good tool to use for single women who want to have wisdom when looking for their mate.
I received a copy of this book from LitFuse. The review is my own opinion.